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We have been dating for ten years ( My thinking about making love to a large breed dog or horse is not that new to me...But I have yet to try it. I guess you could say I am a Zoo Virgin)and when ever I try to bring the topic around to sex with animals he gets very angry or says he's disgusted by "just the idea of it. I love my boyfriend very much but, I would like to try this. I have always loved dogs. They are so strong, beautiful, and personally a couple of the larger breeds make me hot. Please, If you have any ideas let me know. P.S. Lately I have had a fantasy about having sex with a dog and its owner at the same time.
Any advice...Or has this hapened to someone else?
Hello scratchme and Are you looking for ideas about talking your boyfriend around to the idea of fulfilling your fantasies, or ideas about how you might go about this fulfillment, or both sweetie?
You might need to get a new boyfriend. I mean, what happens if you try animal sex and fall in love with it like I did, and then your partner is adamant about it being sick and you could never do it again except for rare occasions. It would drive me crazy. -Vince-
A 10 year relationship is nothing if he can't accept who you are. I found this out the hard way, trying to be who I'm not for someone else just wasn't something I could do without constant depression and thoughts of suicide. Although it wasn't about being a zoo... but I talk too much, sorry.
Not linking the "get a new boyfriend" approach, to be brutally honest. Ten years is not to be sniffed at, and to get rid of someone that clearly genuinely feels for you enough to maintain a relationship for such a length of time for a zoophilic fling to satisfy a sexual urge is pretty cruel and inconsiderate, to be honest. Surely you can talk to him about it, if not to make him like it, at least to accept that you feel this way and it won't change, and maybe see if he'll let you indulge with his consent to make you happy? Niether of those things should be a big deal to two people in a relationship, what with openness and care for one another being paramount, but really, I wouldn't recommend going behind his back and indulging deceptively. Unfortunately, at the end of the day, if he is adamant that he doesn't like it, it just seems you'll have to decide which is more important, isnit?
I think she has already stated that she has tried to talk to him about it on multiple occassions with absolutely no success. Unfortunately, the hard, cold fact is that most zoophiles who have human partner are extremely lucky and rare if their partner merely accepts this aspect of the personality with indifferent silence. Even rarer is the partner who is understanding, encouraging of their animal loving partners desires. Rarest of all is the partner who is also into it as well. To be honest I think there is a hard decision to be made here Scratch. Namely, do you largely or totally supress a basic part of your personality just to make said boyfriend happy. If you do that then you are obviously the more considerate one in the relationship since he's obviously not willing to discuss the topic much less accept your actual feelings on this matter. Granted 10 years of a relationship is a looooong time. But the length of a relationship does not have anything to do with the quality of one. As Ratchick mentioned already constantly, crushing part of your own personality can be a terribly hard thing to do. I, nor anyone else here can tell you that you should can the relationship and move and try to find someone else more accepting. Certainly, if you wish to go that route, you'll find no end of supplicant males on this board and others, who would not only accept but encourange and help you explore your full sexuality. I wish there were some better advice I could give to help magically improve your boyfriends outlook. Unfortunately there are none. To paraphrase Kermit the Frog, "It's not easy being a zoophile". Just try and take comfort that you are not alone in your desires, and that there are others around that are willing to either merely help you explore your physical desires, as well those wanting to establish a long term relationships with kindred spirits in animal loving. Take care.
I think 10 years is a long time to invest in a relationship... and to blow it over this one thing in my opinion would be stupid.. obviously there is A LOT going on in other avenues of the relationship that have kept you with him so long.. is this one desire really so important that you would want to ruin something that you have worked on and nurtured to this point.. I also wonder.. would you all feel the same if she had said... I really want to try scat and my boyfriend thinks it is gross.. would you be telling her to leave the man she loved cuz he thought that was gross and disgusting.. ???Im sorry scratchme but there is no easy solution to this dilema.. you have to discover what it is that you want .. you have to decide if the decision will truely make you happy.. only YOU know the answer to this.. only YOU will have to live with the consequenses of your choices.. are you really willing to give up on a relationship with a man you say you love very much .. for a romp in the hay with a dog??? ohh and yes I was married to a man that thought women and dogs being together sexually was disgusting.. all it took for me to abandon the idea was his reaction when I tried to bring the topic up... we have since divorced.. but we also had many other problems and this wasnt even a factor..
DUMP HIS ASS. Whats wrong with the guy. OK sure 10 years is a long time but come on. BTW anybody that takes advice from me better have thier heads examined.
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QUOTE (ratchick @ Jul 5 2006, 06:17 PM) A 10 year relationship is nothing if he can't accept who you are. I found this out the hard way, trying to be who I'm not for someone else just wasn't something I could do without constant depression and thoughts of suicide. Although it wasn't about being a zoo... but I talk too much, sorry. Yeah, BUT. What if he had a fetish that could possibly be harmful to herself or others? Or like someone else said that a fetish involved in things WE would consider 'disgusting'. You just can't say "oh he has to accept her as she is" Thats really being just as inconsiderate of the other person as they are being of you. A large part of the population probably considers bestiality as disgusting as scat play. We can't fault them for that, and we certainly can't break up with them cause they don't have the same fetish as us.like curly joe said, ending a 10 year relationship over a sexual fantasy would be petty and selfish.not that i would suggest finding love on the side either. Not only is it dangerous in more ways than one, but hurtful to your partner when you get caught. Most fantasies remain just that. A lot of guys want to sleep with 2 girls, but you dont see men breaking up with thier girlfriends because of it. Accept it, move on.
Ten years is a long time but you always regret it if you dont go for the k9 you can always get another b/friend x
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wow i guess sex is more important than love to some on the board here, which kind of contradicts the whole motto you've got going on.think to yourself. After its all done and over, after the orgasm, after the inital "OMG" will you be happy with yourself afterwards. Will you be glad that you left behind the man you've been in love with for 10 years and shared life with for the exchange of brief sexual pleasure.I guess i feel vehemently about this because im in that situation. I desperately want to f*** a dog. I dream about it, i masturbate to it, its my number one fantasy. Would i give up the love of my life to fufill it? Never. ever ever
I have to agree big time with off topic.. wyldfy..... and curly joe. The rest aren't necessarrily wrong but you haven't told us the whole story. Are you happy with this guy, aside from the ani sex thing? How old are you and he? Any kids? Do you live together? These and many other things all affect your choice and our advice. If you are 57yo, three kids, by your x, and he is 72yo with lots of moola, no kids, or relatives, please forget you dream for now.LOL. On the other hand, if this is something that is causing you real heavy duty problems you may loose your man. Only you can make that decision! You have taken the first step by coming here for advice. A lot of the people here can sympathise with you. They have been there done that. In the end it is your choice. Good luck
The question is not love or sex. I wish it was that easy, beucase then the answer would be easy. First off she needs to ask her self is she a zoo or a person with a beastiality fetish. The two are fundamentally different. If she beleives that she is in fact a zoo with all that entails then a break up might be best. A true zoo active sexually or not denied thier animal companionship in what ever form it takes is exactly the same as a homosexual pretending to live straight. The amount of emotional and mental stress will cause massive problems. To thine own self be true. If you cannot be who you are in the privacy of your own home and with your partner you cannot be happy and fullfilled. If her boyfriend cannot accpet who she is then ther eis no hope. The flip side is if she simply has a beastiality fetish. Alot of people on this site like to claim the mantle of being a zoo when if fact they are not. I don't have a lot of posts but I have been lurking. My stay in the shadows has taught quite a bit. To me a real zoo forms a partnership bond (not nessecerily a pair bonding) with their animal companion. They are responsable for the care, grooming, health etc of thier animal and put as much effort into their animals welfare as they do their own sexual enjoyment. The beast lovers view animals as nothing more than flesh and blood vibrators. To paraphrase a rooster any-dog-will-do (cock-a-doodle-do).She needs figure out which group she belongs in. She obviously has gone past the mere fantasy stage by broaching the subject with her boyfriend in such a way that he is able to delcare his objections. How many of us would come out repeatedly to some one who rejected us for our prolaclivties? What she has done is brave and commendable. But now she has to figure out the truth. Is it just a desire, or is it a longing and a need vs a want. If it is mere want then breaking up a 10 year relationship for a sexual fix would indeed be wrong. However if it is something she needs to be a complete person then the relationship is a hinderance to her happiness.I wish her luck, and hope to be in her boyfriends shoes someday (not with her but with a fellow zoo so that I can find fullfillment.)
While it's sad to admit, but I can completely sympathize with your situation.My husband was completely against anything zoo. The idea of it disgusted him more than anything else in the world. The man was homophobic as well, and once blatently told me that he would rather see two men having sex than anyone having sex with an animal.So I kept my mouth shut about my desires for a long time. But when he found out/I told him (it was one of those weird, hard to describe situations), he left me. Packed his bags that very night. At first I was devastated. I was willing to deny the zoo part of myself and go to counseling (which was his request) just to have him back. When that didn't work, I was an absolute mess. I wanted him back because I loved him deeply, and couldn't imagine life without him.As time passed, though, I came to the realization that if he couldn't love me for exactly who I was then we shouldn't be together anyway. Whether a relationship is five days or fifty years, both parties must be open and honest with each other. What is the worth of a realationship that is based on lies or secrets?In your particular situation, I would say that you have to be true to yourself. And if he isn't supportive of you being you, then you may very well be better off without him.
funcomer made some good points about us not knowing more about your relationship.... and offtopic had some good points about love vs lust. I would like to add that although he may not like the idea, I would hope he could be accepting of it. It is hard to compare zoophilia against other things like scat, bdsm, etc, so I can't really say I would be accepting of anything my partner would be interested in, but I would expect them to be able to explain to me why they are interested and be able to defend themselves on why they think it is an acceptable behaviour AND be able to take criticism against what they believe.So, if you decide to bring up your interests you had best be prepared to "defend" your position or I doubt this will end well.... He would think things like, Why are you interested? But you are harming/raping/abusing the animal! You are cheating on me. And various other questions/accusations that are bound to come up.Another thing, is I think many people are more attracted to animals for lust then they would like to admit. If you have a good relationship going on right now (which I am not sure on since you have been together 10 years and no marriage... and did this animal interest spawn because of something lacking in the relationship?) I wouldn't lose it because of a fantasy that is considered by most as extreme. All that said though, I personally doubt I could ever get that far into a relationship without saying my interests... like silvercircles said, I wouldn't want to have to lie/tell secrets throughout the relationship either.Anyways, im just blabbing now... just make sure you aren't going to do this for all the wrong reasons.
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What a conundrum. It's a case of damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Perhaps it is less a discust of sex with animals, than with a fear of finding out that you might prefer the animal to him if you try it. It could just be his way of dealing with his fear of having to share you. Maybe his fear of having you be in the position of being able to campare lovers. It's a thought, and a tough row to hoe for the both of you. I wish I was wiser, and had better advice. Good luck. Pet
Good luck on your fantasy.....and if you can't change their way of thinking....change for a thinker for your way of living.. Nice thread to open up needed discussion...thanks.
QUOTE (raver @ Jul 6 2006, 08:54 PM) The question is not love or sex. I wish it was that easy, beucase then the answer would be easy. First off she needs to ask her self is she a zoo or a person with a beastiality fetish. The two are fundamentally different. If she beleives that she is in fact a zoo with all that entails then a break up might be best. A true zoo active sexually or not denied thier animal companionship in what ever form it takes is exactly the same as a homosexual pretending to live straight. The amount of emotional and mental stress will cause massive problems. To thine own self be true. If you cannot be who you are in the privacy of your own home and with your partner you cannot be happy and fullfilled. If her boyfriend cannot accpet who she is then ther eis no hope. The flip side is if she simply has a beastiality fetish. Alot of people on this site like to claim the mantle of being a zoo when if fact they are not. I don't have a lot of posts but I have been lurking. My stay in the shadows has taught quite a bit. To me a real zoo forms a partnership bond (not nessecerily a pair bonding) with their animal companion. They are responsable for the care, grooming, health etc of thier animal and put as much effort into their animals welfare as they do their own sexual enjoyment. The beast lovers view animals as nothing more than flesh and blood vibrators. To paraphrase a rooster any-dog-will-do (cock-a-doodle-do).She needs figure out which group she belongs in. She obviously has gone past the mere fantasy stage by broaching the subject with her boyfriend in such a way that he is able to delcare his objections. How many of us would come out repeatedly to some one who rejected us for our prolaclivties? What she has done is brave and commendable. But now she has to figure out the truth. Is it just a desire, or is it a longing and a need vs a want. If it is mere want then breaking up a 10 year relationship for a sexual fix would indeed be wrong. However if it is something she needs to be a complete person then the relationship is a hinderance to her happiness.I wish her luck, and hope to be in her boyfriends shoes someday (not with her but with a fellow zoo so that I can find fullfillment.) I dont think you have read this post that southie made.. ===> Taboo Subjects <===, ALL READ - HERE'S WHAT'S NOT ALLOWED your insinuation that I dont take care of my animals because I consider myself into bestiality is offensive to me! raver.. I suggest you read the rules and the stickies in the stickie section before you procede in posting anymore.. I personally will not let you continue to label me(and others like me) like you have.. scratchme I am sorry but I couldnt let this go without saying something!! I am so sick of people labeling me(and others) based on their misconceptions!!
I did not mean to offend anyone. Nor am I implying that beasts are incapable of or do not care for animals. I was simply trying to highlight the magor differnaces between the two [SPAM] to a woman caught in a very uncomftable place. Zoo- more about the emotional boding, beast more about the sex. Obviously ther eis a great deal of overlap betwen the two [SPAM]. Given the unigue circumstances of her story I simply tried to show the two views via thier extremes so that she might make the decsion that is best for her in her life.My apologies and I shall not do it again
There's no need to be so defensive, I think raver's observed a fundamental difference in two different types of people into animals, not that "all people that like animals base it on a shallow and superficial attraction". He wasn't implying that all zoos are just in it for the cock etc, not labelling at all, but that some people feel themselves attracted to it but not genuinely so - in theory, not in practice.
There's a good spread of opinion and advice here scatchme, plenty to make a start on.Personally, I would be inclined to keep my man in this situation first and foremost. This is just a personal expression of preference: I know next to nothing about either of you please bear in mind.Where partners collide over sexual matters alone there is almost always a route through back to happiness for the both of you. I shall assume that you are both quite satisfied in more general areas of the relationship, albeit perhaps a little strained now and again as any couple can reasonably encounter.Broaching the subject of a sexual adventure that your partner is wary of is made a whole lot less confrontational if you consider their possible interpretations of the line of questioning you are posing them.If I were to say: "Hey sweetie, I'd really like to know what it feels like to have the knot inside of me..." for example, there are many different emotions that could stir in the man I have just confided in, especially if he and I have been partners for any length of time.Worst-case interpretations of the example comment are that my man thinks: "That must mean I don't satisfy her enough..." or "I'm too small to give her sexual pleasure..." or the like. Please note that you are effectively introducing another sexual partner in between you both when you discuss things like this, and that is a huge step out of the ordinary for very many people indeed.Just being aware that your very broaching of such a subject may be misinterpretted in all sorts of personalised ways will help you navigate through the ensuing conversation.In the early days, just having your partner acknowledge that this is a subject you want to discuss further is probably the best thing to aim for... too much beyond that and you'll end up back at square one.So start by discussing what arouses you about the subject; talk in general terms about fantasies and ideas that you both enjoy. Don't leap straight in with a zoo-related theme, include it with other areas you enjoy. Keep it abstract and in the realms of make-believe to begin with at least. This way you can talk about what you like about the idea without your partner necesarily feeling like he's going to come home to a set of kennels or a new stable in the yard...Focus on what the idea means to you in addition to your other desires... this is important as it shows your partner that their place in your affections will not diminish should you ever start exploring this area in the future.This isn't easy scratchme, just ask any of the members here with partners who get huffy over abstract fantasies such as pornography, but it doesn't have to be horrid either. If you express yourself honestly as to what you want, how you intend to go about it, and what impact that might have on your partner, especially taking into account their understandable knee-jerk feelings of betrayal or surprise or fear, then subjects of this nature need be no more harrowing than admitting that you don't like their mother's meddling, for example... Sure, it is personal and difficult in the first instance to accept, but it doesn't have to mean the end of the realtionship, let alone the end of the world.Good luck sweetie
I am prity new to the animal sex thing myself but all I can say is I love my dog and any other dog that fancies me. I carnt begin to explain how good it is. I would love to try a horse next but i am a little scared and need advise.If you have an open mind and want great sex. Try it. You wont be sorry. Contact me if you like and I will tell you what I can.
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Well, this isa tough one. First of all I would like to say a relation is a commitment between two people (obviously) so if you want to bring another lover in the equasion it should be with consent of both partners, think what you would say if he brought an other girlfriend home. Second, try to find out if this zoothing is something you want to try just once or you think this could be someting you want to do on a regular base. If you just want to try it once maybe you can organise something without him knowing. Devious I know but to give up a good relationship on just an adventure seems such a waste. If you can live with a one-time deceit or not is something for you to decide.Third (this was already mentioned in the other posts) you have to decide for yourself if you want to supress this desire for the sake of your relation (and what is he giving up for you, if anything) or is this desire too big a thing to have never tried in your lifewell, just my thoughts on this, after all, have you considered giving him a dog, maybe he is the dog-owner of your fantasies...
QUOTE (scratchme @ Jul 5 2006, 12:39 PM) We have been dating for ten years ( My thinking about making love to a large breed dog or horse is not that new to me...But I have yet to try it. I guess you could say I am a Zoo Virgin)and when ever I try to bring the topic around to sex with animals he gets very angry or says he's disgusted by "just the idea of it. I love my boyfriend very much but, I would like to try this. I have always loved dogs. They are so strong, beautiful, and personally a couple of the larger breeds make me hot. Please, If you have any ideas let me know. P.S. Lately I have had a fantasy about having sex with a dog and its owner at the same time. I have to agree with the bunch of you that is telling her to go ahead with trying it out...I realize you've been in this relationship for a very long time...but I face something similar to it many years ago...when I discovered I was a dom. I was married...tried in interest my spouse in it...she called me a sick, twisted, deviate...and took off with the guy she'd been secretly having an affair with since before we were married. So...I was true to my own interests...and haven't regretted it since. The ex has been trying to get back with me for a decade...promising me anything...last time I told her I would consider it, if she did a male german shepherd...haven't heard from her since...lolScratch...do what you have to do to be happy...you've given the bf the chance to be involved in this with you, if he passes...you have no reason to feel guilty.Temp
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QUOTE (scratchme @ Jul 5 2006, 07:39 AM) I love my boyfriend very much but, I would like to try this. I have always loved dogs. If you want to spend the rest of your life with him, then this may just have to be a fantasy and nothing more. I wouldn't advise throwing away a lifetime of happiness for a fantasy. If you commit to him but it doesn't work out, then your free to persuit it openly. I've had sex with two male dogs. My current lover is a dalmatian with whom I enjoy a fullfilling and exciting sexual relationship. Fortunately my hubby doesn't consider a dog to be a threat to his relationship with me. However if he came to me and said he wanted me to stop, I would. It certainly wouldn't be easy for me, and I wouldn't be happy about it. However my hubby's love and support is far more important and valuable than having sex with a dog. I hope everything works out OK for you.
Boy Silky. You could stop, just like that. I would not be able to do that.. She did say that she has been dating for 10 years, never said it was to the same guy or not.... Scratchme, as other has said. If this is something you want to do, and he isn't up to it. Then you either get rid of him, or you get rid of the dog idea. But alot of people will admit, that sex with dogs is great. They don't ever complain. My ex didn't like it either. She knew what I did, and she knew I still did it after we were married. She almost caught me 3 times, never seen me doing the dog, but she kinda figured that we have just done it. So the Big "D" came into play. So now it's me and the dogs. Life it so much better now.. She most not be having to much of a problem with this. Since it has been so long since she posted this, and haven't replied back yet. Hope she is still OK..
If you really love someone you except them for who they are, warts n all
QUOTE (Muttlieclue @ Jul 20 2006, 06:54 PM) Boy Silky. You could stop, just like that. I would not be able to do that.. No, not just like that. I said it would be difficult, but not impossible.
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I agree with what some have said, keep the boy friend, walk away from the fantasy. Best of luck with what ever you choose.
Hey Tykes, you make me laugh!.. and you are right, I wont listen to you... as far as our "tangled" up poor lass, I am at a loss, sheesh what a choice to make!...its not gonna be easy as I have had personal experience and we are all different, my heartfelt empathy for our lady friend..oh and a very warm welcome, as you are among friends now. cheers BZ.
Hello It's me Scratchme. I started this post when I first started on this wonderfull web site. I feel I should let all the wonderful people who've been kind enough to offer me thier advice. I'm sure some people will not agree or like my decision. But it's my life. I've decided to stay with my guy, I love him too much to chose another over him. We have talked everything over, and everything is great now. Also I perposefully didn't tell everything about my life because, I was only asking advice on one problem in my life. Thanks again everybody, I hope to see you around the BF site. Bye
Well Scratchme, I'm happy for you and wish you and your boyfriend the best.
Silvercircles said it so well....I agree with that point of view. Scratchme, think it through carefully...Make a list of the main points to consider and look them over, think about them and go from there. I wish you well.
i really feel for you here- im in a similar situation. I have been interested in zoo for about 5 years maybe a little longer but didnt know what it was. My partner thinks its disgusting on a par with sexual crimes- it makes me feel very guilty. however i will keep working on him and if he loves me, i hope he will accept im into it- i dont expect him to take part of even really understand. if it came down to it, i would choose my partner, i love him and would be willing to be content with BF I think you did the right thing scratch me
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With my husband's blessing, I carried on a 3 year affair with another man. While my hubby had no probelms with my k9 activities, my lover didn't understand it, and didn't want to know or even hear about it. So there's no telling how others can or will react to your k9 interests.
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QUOTE (scratchme @ Jul 22 2006, 08:10 AM) Hello It's me Scratchme. I started this post when I first started on this wonderfull web site. I feel I should let all the wonderful people who've been kind enough to offer me thier advice. I'm sure some people will not agree or like my decision. But it's my life. I've decided to stay with my guy, I love him too much to chose another over him. We have talked everything over, and everything is great now. Also I perposefully didn't tell everything about my life because, I was only asking advice on one problem in my life. Thanks again everybody, I hope to see you around the BF site. Bye Good on you girl But please be aware that good sex is only 10% to blame for a good relationship, whereas bad sex tends to be 90% to blame for a bad relationship.If your zoo fantasies are just that... fantasies then you've made the right choice. On the other hand, if they are more than fantasies and the urge to get some beasty action increases to the point where you get fixated then you may find you've either made the wrong decision or that you are going to have to breach the trust between you two. Only you can know how badly you want the beasty action, if it's something you just HAVE to do the I'd put money on it becoming a problem in your relationship.IOW if it's your intention to stay with this guy then put out of your head any desires for animal fun, if you don't it will corrode the relationship sooner or later.Now it's up to you to prove me wrong Damn, I'm not very good at this serious stuff, I far prefer to be taking the piss
Well scratchme, I hope the decision you made is the right one for you. Only you know that. I purposely refrained from giving my opinion because of my lack of information about the situation. It's nice that we have this forum that allows us to connect with others that share our interests. Sometimes just being able to vent your frustrations with others that have an unusual interest in common can help a little. Who knows, maybe one day he'll come around. Where there's life, there's hope. Take care of yourself scratch. Hope itn all works out for you.
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