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I am wondering how people think of being a zoo. I have talked to many people some are very low key others scream it. who are you and were to you stand?for a better understanding of the zoo comunityELK
well I guess I suck at makeing polls would delet it but have no idea how. sorry for my blunder.Elk
Sorry, can't vote, already came out....
I came out many years ago about it. Not much of a problem, since mostly everyone that knew me knew I was a nut case anyways.
cool cool thanks for fixing my bad.yeah I came out long ago. still got the same friends highschool buddies. Elk
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already came out to several friends... but i'm about to come to my lover in a couple of hours
I have told only a few, a lot of the people I know or family would probably burn me at the stake
Hi gang! I hope all is well with everybody. Odessa, you've really tapped into a dynamite question. Personally, I don't think there is a "standard" answer to the question. Each person must carefully assess his/her situation. Some folks could be quite public about it with little or no consequences. Others could literally see their lives devastated by such information becoming known to the "wrong" person.As for me, I have a casual gf who fantasizes every day about being taken by a large stud dog. She is soooo erotically entranced by the thought of him engorging his knot inside her. She revealed her k-9 longings to me before I revealed to her. I'm very open-minded about sexual things, and we have shared our mutual k-9 desires in numerous erotic conversations.I guess the only advice I can give is to be very, very careful about sharing this part of yourself. Sharing your most intimate, private desires is an act of intimacy in itself. It may be prudent to err on the side of being too private rather than too public. After all, once a bell is rung, it can never be un-rung.Good luck to each of you who may be struggling with this profound question. Good luck indeed. Best Wishes---someway2b
I voted "Stay hidden" because it is really unnecessary to come out to those who have absolutely nothing to do with my sexual orientation (or my life).People who know are zoos themselves.
The interesting thing is that nobody is taking a risk to come out to their parents...
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i come out yrs ago like 12 yr ago with male dogs and female dogs ..
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I think you have to tell your lover, they will find out sooner or later anyway and why try to build a relationship on a lie. If you have a lover that does not understand, and you have no intentions of changing your sexual preferences (good luck on that one), the relationship will not last. If you came out as zoo after your relationship started you are going to have to own up sooner or later, you pick the time but still should do it or break off the relationship. That's just me, I hate secrets in a relationship with commitments. As far as friends, what has my sexual preferences have to do with them unless it is directed at them. No, I don't tell my friends what I perfer sexually and I never ask them what they do in bed. Some of them like to tell you wheter you want to hear it or not, but that is them, not my cup of tea.As for my family, they would not understand, I know they would not understand and I will not open up that box. I would like to tell them but it would be just too much for them to handle and I know this.
My parents know, but not because I came out to them. They searched my comp and found ( all) doggy-porn stuff. Mother said I'm fucked up, I said so what if I am, and now we pretend it never happened. I tell all my friends up front. (if I see the friendship sticking, that is)The way I see it, anyone who wouldn't stay my friend knowing that isn't worth having as a friend. I'm really just so much an animal enthusiast/animal lover/zoo, though. It is very much a part of who I am. Couldn't stand to have to hide my passion from people I'd call friends.ALWAYS tell lovers. Again, always tell friends, soooo.. I actually only date fellow zoos/ animal lovers. (dated, anyway. Living with and staying with this one. )
Don't ask and don't tell unless the person you are active with is heavy into alt sex. Tell only if they have as much to risk as you do. Keep the relationship equal. Those are the rules my dad taught me.
My family knows nothing and I don't think I'll ever tell because I fear it won't go down very well - I've got a good relationship will all of my family members right now and I'm not going to risk becoming an outcast. I think some of my friends know my sexuality differs from the norm but they've never asked about it and I don't see/feel a need to tell them.
QUOTE (Psychomek @ Dec 2 2004, 02:29 AM) already came out to several friends... but i'm about to come to my lover in a couple of hours Well I came out to my lover yesterday.... Sad to say he didn't take it very well. I am moving out as of January.
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QUOTE (Psychomek @ Dec 12 2004, 01:36 PM) QUOTE (Psychomek @ Dec 2 2004, 02:29 AM) already came out to several friends... but i'm about to come to my lover in a couple of hours Well I came out to my lover yesterday.... Sad to say he didn't take it very well. I am moving out as of January. I'm very sorry to hear that, Psycho. I had tried to discuss this with my ex-husband once and was told I was sick to even think about it. I had never mentioned it to anyone prior to that, and never again since......until I had left him and started seeing someone else. The person I told was very open to it, and encouraged me to talk about it. He was the person who told me about bestiality.com. That was almost 3 years ago. One day, you'll meet someone special that you can be yourself with, and this will all be worthwhile.
I didn't come out, but my wife discovered I was having sex with our Irish Setter. She got pretty upset, but after getting rid of the dog, and my promising I would refrasne from engaging in animal sex, she told no one and stayed with me. After her death I started having sex with animals again. This time I am being carefull not to let any one find out. Once was enough.
Well I say stay hidden unless your lover does not mind. You would have to see what his/her reaction would beto sudjestions, I would only tell her if she was positive.
QUOTE (bubjones @ Dec 12 2004, 11:47 PM) I didn't come out, but my wife discovered I was having sex with our Irish Setter. She got pretty upset, but after getting rid of the dog, and my promising I would refrasne from engaging in animal sex, she told no one and stayed with me. After her death I started having sex with animals again. This time I am being carefull not to let any one find out. Once was enough. Sorry to hear about that. Getting caught in most cases end up being a compromise, of the worst kind. The damage has been done now so you cannot turn back unless she consents.
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Hello I have found the majority of people I come in social contact would not excercise their critical thinking and acceptance skills if presented with my ACTUAL practice of K9 to woman love. Though I suspect if I could pole the women in that sample a measurable percentage of those from the city life (men to a far lessor extent)would have thought about being at least licked in an emotional way, at some time in their life by their family pet; that number would be a larger percentage of men and women from the rural and farming areas. That statistics baer this out.With respect to SELF and ChI its seems the home unit should be a source of harmony (balance) and having that intimate balance should be our goal not necessarily announcing any particular facet of our lives to those who fall merely in the social contact catagory. The other goal of home should be to spend that time with someone accepting of us for who we are;but my own experience tells me that's not easy. I spent a marriage and many girlfriends in the closet, now I am in my 40's (phase II of my adult lfe) the part where I am supposed to have who I am finally figured out. I feel like the elephant is no longer standing on my testicles because I search purposfully for people who understand. I will not enter phase III (50's and 60's) enjoying who I am and what I have done without ensuring the person closest to me supports me. That will make the last stage --the remembering (and all I will have left) all the more pleasant.Inside the animal lover community there are niches some of US consider odd or worse -but to each their own as long as no spirit is being injured. We cannot stick our head in the dirt and pretend this lifestyle will one day be socially accepted in our lifetime (for sure not in America where things seem to be regressing not progressing); That said, there are enough beautiful people capable of accepting us or practicing in the mind if not in deeds. We just need to seek each other out much the way the swingers and other lifestyle players do.On the main issue of disclosure for disclosure's sake--I would NOT cause harm to a family member or close friend whom I knew could not get their mind around this. As for those average social contacts, I don't see the point, especially in today's charged secular enviroment. We cannot nor do we need to confur any legal status to our pets(lovers)--acknowledging that situation in the early part of this century WOULD NOT increase the harmony of the home unit where as the Gay community absolutely should excercise this position (who I am, who I love). Thanks for reading my run-ons.
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I guess i'm just lucky.... I told my parents... I told my friends.... and everybody accepted me the way I am... When I finally came out to my dad he just said.. '' That's it ??'' as if it was nothing... i feel incredibly relieved from tha come out.....some of you should try... i thnk its the best move ive done in my life...
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My sympathy Psycho. Its always tough to loose someone you care about and move out, been there. I have to comend you though on your bravery in comming out to her. I have wanted to however never found the right oppurtunity to do so. I think you shoudl be honest with your lover or signifant other beacuse it does come down to a form of cheating. If the K9, or horse were a man or woman it woudl be so why woudl it be different for an animal?
Generally I keep my mouth shut. Wife is sickened by very thought or mention of anything like this.Old GF looked at me like I had two heads but dealt with it..Another former (maybe former) lover was sort of intrested in having a large enough breed mount her some how.. might have to look her up again.
Hi all23 years old here and still young. Current Girlfriend would prolly have a heartattack if she knew what I was into. Parents would for sure too. I dream and desire of being in a relationship with a like minded fellow zoo or at least find a group of zoos i can share my interst and feelings with. This has been hard if not impossible so far in my life. Maybe things will get better in the future. I sure hope so cause this is not leaving my mind, my desires or my life anytime soon. SOmewhat confused on what to do Love this forum sooooo much though
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QUOTE (ohtrav @ Dec 16 2004, 12:40 AM) Hi all23 years old here and still young. Current Girlfriend would prolly have a heartattack if she knew what I was into. Parents would for sure too. I dream and desire of being in a relationship with a like minded fellow zoo or at least find a group of zoos i can share my interst and feelings with. This has been hard if not impossible so far in my life. Maybe things will get better in the future. I sure hope so cause this is not leaving my mind, my desires or my life anytime soon. SOmewhat confused on what to do Love this forum sooooo much though Well may be just a few beast joke and guage her response to them and if she is positive go a bit further like ask you opinion outright. ( Like what do you think about people having sex with animals.)
Hio all,Well, I selected "come out to friends", but I guess I'm sort of an odd case.... My mother (only living parent) suspects, and ridicules me in private for it, lambasts me in public for it (to relatives mostly), but she complains so much I don't think many believe her. I'd had to deny it to some, for their sake (family quarrels... don'tcha love 'em?), but nearly all of my.... I take that back. All of my close friends know, and many acquaintances. My vet knows (mother told him) but he's never mentioned it to me, so either doesn't believe it or doesn't judge (I doubt he's a zoo himself... or at least no longer is... Nice gent but has a bit of a 'tude about animals honed by decades of veterinary practice). And especially my GF, who is zoo too BTW. Had several relationships go down the flusher for coming out to them, but... darn. I'm happier now than I thought ever could be possible, knowing it's all cool with my GF, and she knows I'm cool with her preferences too. But with many other areas, I keep it under wraps, as it could/would be problematic to potentially-fatal for many of my own endeavors, as well as my GF's career (zookeeper! You can use your imagination of the reaction of boardroom prudes). But having said that, I know the look in my pups' eyes make it all worthwhile. Anyway, that's my two cents' worth. Prometheus
I finnaly found the right moment. I came out to my lover last night. Well i shoudl say ex-lover. We are no longer romanticaly involved. She said she coudlen't have relations with me thinking i might be thinking else wise. ... However I feel this was the chep out as she has always hated my work ethic , very very comited and strong, and is jsut using this as an excuse. I would say that I'm hurt but, i'm not. If she can't except me for me then were better off apart. Am I wrong in thinking that? In any event I was extreamly suprised that she didn't say i was sick or anyhing. However she was cuirous to know if i woudl seek 'help' for it. Of course I delined and said i would embrace it . So far besides the readers of this forum, shes the only one that knows.
Well Dogbert.... and Psycho.... here's my couple cents' worth.I've had relationships fall apart from telling my partner I was a zoophile. A couple were "grossed out" by it, a couple intrigued by it, and one... well... went berzerk. I hope for your sakes that if you have pets you're regularly intimate with that you're in a state or province that doesn't have laws against zoophilia/bestiality for you could potentially lose your lover (the four-legged one) for good. *sighs* I've been fortunate that my former human-partners have been thoughtful enough to see that I truly care about my dogs' well-being and although they disagree with what and how I am, are compassionate enough not to report me to the authorities lest I lose my dogs, and could face 5 years in prison, being convicted of a felony (and yes, they now have "rape kits" for animls to get a DNA sample.... so nonoxyl-9 in a douche works wonders.... though if you're in their bumhole it'll be enlarged more than a nonzoo dog's would). But anyway, I know we (the previous GFs) parted ways for a reason, and I'm glad now that I didn't settle for someone who couldn't accept my love for my dogs.... for now I have a GF that not only is zoo-tolerant, she's a zoophile herself. So happy endings do come out of sorrowful goodbyes. And for what it's worth, one of the quotes I try to live by is "To thine own self be true" - - Wm Shakespeare.Prometheus
I have never actually told anyone outside of this room but i suspect my ex suspected i was having a relationship with the dog and My mother once asked me if that dog was "stump broke" - she once used to date cowboy types that thought little of relationships with fem pets so she is not uninformed!. Due to custody mattersd at the time she asked, I told her I was not active with the dog which was such a big lie as I had had sex with the dog within the hour before!What mother dosen't know she dosen't need to know (p.s. I am 45 years old! - I keep my own secreats).
I don't really see a reason to go out proclaiming it to everyone.
already came out.......good friends and family knows it ^^kisses B
I think remain silent is the best option... I consider sexuality to be such a personal and private thing. Only person I have told is my wife and I'm so happy about it. I think beastiality is growing slowly inside her...grrr Lucky me. I would never tell anybody else in real life.
If your gonna tell somebody its gonna wanna be your lover first. My husband took it extremely well (I mean we share an account here duh ). Then you might want to go tell maybe your most trusted family member. You can pretty much do what makes YOU feel comfortable.
I told my lover...now he's a part of the site!
Let's see, come out, my family disowns me and then I get put in jail! I don't think that sounds like a good idea. Stay hidden.
Family and friends do not need to know. I don't like to keep secrets in a relationship, so I knew eventually I would tell my lover. Told him last year and he joined this site.
Many years ago I got a little depressed and drank a little too much one night. Told a ( then very close ) friend about my love life. I think I had not even sobered up before half the town knew about my love life. Other than to a now deceased member of this site I have not told anybody else about my affection to the canine world.
I told my wife, which worked out OK. She lets me have my male canine lover, and she occasionally lets him lick her, but that is all from her side. But it took me more than 10 years to trust her enough and know her well enough to dare to reveal that to her.Beyond that, the only friends that "know" are on-line friends who only know me by an anonymous on-line screen name, like the people here. No one that could trace the admission back to the real person.I might, eventually, let my daughter know - but only if she first shows interest or at least tolerance in that direction. For now, no. Other family? No way.
Voted to keep it hidden. Maybe in years to come it will become acceptable, looked what happened to being or lesbian. Only then will people be really comfortable to come out and tell everyone. At the minute you risk family lovers friends work etc shunning you and making your life a misery.
Other than my wife and you all, I'm staying in my closet or kennel or whatever, thank you very much.LTD
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I would love to admit to my mates and family of my different way of being, unfortunately my job would be gone in seconds, I'd be labelled a beastialist and would probably be disowned by my family as my mother is a devoute Methodist and relies on her belief to get through life, learning this fact about me would destroy her and my friends already call me a wierdo or psycho killer (no truth in this at all) but it would still revile them, so I choose to remain as I am, the only people who know are here on this site . Great poll by the way
The only other ones that know besides myself are my other zoo friends...
QUOTE (st benard @ Feb 24 2009, 06:49 PM) Many years ago I got a little depressed and drank a little too much one night. Told a ( then very close ) friend about my love life. I think I had not even sobered up before half the town knew about my love life. Other than to a now deceased member of this site I have not told anybody else about my affection to the canine world. Respect to you St BenardI see from your profile that you are probably one of our oldest members, it makes me wonder how long you have been into this lifestyle.Just curious, that's allBrowser
Well...my Mother knows. Not because I told but because she found some Doggy porn. (plus some art) on the comp We had a nice long talk. She said it was "Disturbing" but that she didn't care it's my sexuality. My father does not know however.No friends knowAnd my lovers canine so...
as of now i still have yet to vote. I must say that i was found out by a friend/roommate of my and he was furious about it to the point were he was going to kill the dog unless i agreed to not enguage in any activities of that sort... so for the safty of the dog i was never with him after that but least the dog is still alive and healthy as for my family my mother and grandmother know so part of my family knows about my love for animals but i still have not told my lover... will I did when I was 1st with but the topic never seemed (how to put it) right to bring up again,hopefully a will find the moment but for now ill be quite about it... besides most of them think I "lost those feelings" for animals..................Nicklepony
As for myself, I think I'd rather keep the information pretty general. Everyone who knows me know that I love dogs and horses. I have a dog so....no big surprise. As for me telling friends and family about what specific kinds of activities...I'd prefer to keep that information private. Why do they need to know? Would your life be dramatically changed (good or bad) if the knew?Attitudes towards sexuality has been changing for decades. Homosexuality use to be illegal in many parts of the world and many people ended up in jail or in a psych ward because they were . Today, it's no big deal. In fact, it's almost fasionable to be or bi-sexual. Being a zoo hasn't come that far and I'm not sure if it ever will. Maybe one day but that's so far in the future and I'm not so sure if people will want to understand the whole process surrounding it. There are lots of people out there that will say "Hey! What ever floats 'ur boat!" but I think there is a long way yet to go before society will say that it's okay.Just my 2 cents worth.
This is something that all depends on your freinds. Family no way. Either say nothing or vif you feel you can trust a freind.
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If I came out I would want to know ahead of time if im going to suffer or im going to benefit from such choice in the future.
Stay hidden unless its someone you really truly trust. Even then you still run a huge risk. Its much less of a head ache to just meet like minded people and keep your personal life personal.
Play it close to the vest at all times. And remember excessive drugs/alcohol consumption and zoophilia do not mix well. And while loose lips often give good head, they also sink ships and personal lives.
Two problems I see with coming out about anything sexual. First, too many fakers. What's the point exactly of saying anything honest to anyone you can't really believe. Next, coming up against, me, I'd think I was full of it, call me out, and what am I going to back up my claim with? Sexuality is personal. So that's a vicious paradox I don't see getting out of without doing something else, of some sort, to get in trouble.But I tell people all the time. Joke about it, tell people I'm going to look up animal porn, sleep with the dogs, show the horses a good time; I'm not lying, but no one ever believes me. So what? Open, sure. Out? No way. Just me and just the weird, twisted friends I have.
question: if your mother called you up tomorrow and confessed that her and your father liked to dress up three times a week like 2 year olds and have sex while an asian midget filmed it, what would you do? if you're anything like me i imagine your first reaction would be something like "sheezus christ, mom! why the hell are you telling me this? god... i did NOT need to know that".my family is very aware that i'm a dog person (actually, a pet person) and there is no question in their minds that i will always have at least one pet in my life. i have no idea if they've pondered about the level of my commitment to them (or even if they're aware that zoophilia exists), but they've never said anything. to be frank, i dont think they would ever say anything even if they did suspect (or even know). families tend to operate best with a certain level of 'dont ask, dont tell'.as for friends... why the hell are they entitled to any information pertaining to where my dick goes? all they need to know is that i'm happy, healthy, and when i can hang out with them. now that being said, if any friend of mine ever did confide similar feelings in me i would absolutely out myself to them.partners must be told, IMO. first off, i could never EVER stand living with someone who didn't appreciate the animals as much as i did so chances are whomever i end up with will be at some level at least understanding. for me my animal relationships are actually a form of polygamy, i suppose. my human partner is not necessarily on the top of my 'love list' and they have a right to know that.but joe schmo on the street will never have a clue. i'm not loud and proud, i'm self-contained and very content.
QUOTE (odessa @ Dec 2 2004, 02:16 AM) I am wondering how people think of being a zoo. I have talked to many people some are very low key others scream it. who are you and were to you stand?for a better understanding of the zoo comunityELK I keep it quiet - very quiet. One only has to look at the headlines that get posted here, when the "normal" people get the chance to burn another one of us at the stake.
If you share or reveal your style, be very, very selective as to who you let know. High cost if the wrong person finds out.
It would be nice to tell my friends and family the truth, but I'll be honest... it's illegal where I live to love animals the way you are supposed to love a human. Because of that, my family would lock me up and tell me it was for my own good. Religion would come up as well, but that's all I'll say on that to avoid breaking the rules. My true friends might not care, seeing as we're all crazy, but that's not a risk I feel comfortable taking anyway. As for a lover... I am seeing someone, but we're not officially together, you could say, so that's an option unavailale to me. So I'm going to have to say that only I and all of you here today know about me being an animal lover.
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I had to vote stay silent. In a perfect world i would just be honest and come out to everyone but unfortunately this isnt a perfect world *sigh*, and it would destroy my life if anyone i knew found out.
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I keep it under wraps, but mostly because I Don't believe anyone I know would go for it, and I don't feel like being roasted on a spit by my redneck hometown. I would rather live a semi-secluded life so I can have my cake and eat it without someone trying to kill me to prevent me from eating it.
I finally told my good friend the other day. She was a little hesitant at first but overall accepted it. I feel so much better now! My ex was a bitch about that side of me, always making me feel bad about it, now I can actually converse with someone on the fact and not feel ashamed!
Bump, for more opinions.
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i'd say come out to my lover, but only early on in the realtionship so that way it does't really matter if they take it bad or not.
Never, ever, ever come out publicly. That will always end in complete disaster. I would say that even telling friends can be very risky unless you are sooo absolute in your friendship that NOTHING could change it.Yes, I have told my SO. She has known for many years since we were very close friends. Just the fact that so many people have such a limited view of love just in the human world let alone the animal world should tell ya the world isn't ready.if you let it out to the world its like painting a target on your back and roaming around some gun practice range. Huggles
I voted Tell your lover? Although I feel "telling your spouse" should've been a choice. I only told two people about my k9 activities. My husband and my best friend. I simply had to come out to my hubby, and only told my best friend out of necessity when we asked her to take over primary care of my k9 lover. I had kept it a secret from her even though we were closer than sisters. Which tells you how much I felt about the need to keep my activities a secret.
I was recently 'forced out' at work. Briefly stated, I foolishly gave a list of fetishes of mine to a co-worker several months ago. He shared them w/ another person who shared them w/ someone else, etc. The wrong person found them and turned me in to the Human Resources Department. The manager asked if I had any more such items in my desk. I knew they could search my desk in any case so I admitted that I did indeed. When she looked through my things, she found items relating to zoophilia, necrophilia, S & M, scat, role playing and so forth. By law they CANNOT stop me from bringing my writings into work, so I am safe in that regard. I only shared one small fetish list w/ a co-worker (and learned my lesson in that respect !!), never the more hardcore items. Well, in any case, like it or not, I am now 'out', at least among my co workers. Everyone treated me nicely afterward. In fact, many of them were angry that I got suspended for the 'list.'
The secret was weighing on me really bad. Driving me crazy like the murderer in "The Tell-Tale Heart" by Edgar Allen Poe. I finally decided to tell one person, my best friend. He respects that it is who I am and accepts me still, and I respect his wish to not get any details. I am glad I did but it was a big risk.
I prefer stay silentBut I would like to share this with some one, maybe a partner but I don't have one But I think that my friends that know me well already know
Hmmm, that's kinda complicated. I've told my lover and he told me (I know, I'm pretty lucky to have found him). I'll only tell people who I suspect are also zoo.
i have told my lover other than that i keep it hidden
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I voted to tell your lover. At first I was inclined to say, "well ... it depends" - but honestly, if you're in a relationship where honesty and acceptance of who you are is not paramount, then, is it really worth it to begin with? I suppose it does depend on the nature of the relationship, but I if you're in any kind of committed long term situation, personally, I couldn't be in that relationship it unless I were positive I would be accepted for who I am. That's not to say I discount the incredible fear and stress that keeping this to yourself can create in a person. I told my ex (we split some time later for unrelated reasons) and she accepted it, and was even curious herself. We ended up watching some beastie vids together, and had fun, but that was it.
QUOTE (MichiganVoyeur @ Apr 6 2009, 02:49 AM) I was recently 'forced out' at work. Briefly stated, I foolishly gave a list of fetishes of mine to a co-worker several months ago. He shared them w/ another person who shared them w/ someone else, etc. The wrong person found them and turned me in to the Human Resources Department. The manager asked if I had any more such items in my desk. I knew they could search my desk in any case so I admitted that I did indeed. When she looked through my things, she found items relating to zoophilia, necrophilia, S & M, scat, role playing and so forth. By law they CANNOT stop me from bringing my writings into work, so I am safe in that regard. I only shared one small fetish list w/ a co-worker (and learned my lesson in that respect !!), never the more hardcore items. Well, in any case, like it or not, I am now 'out', at least among my co workers. Everyone treated me nicely afterward. In fact, many of them were angry that I got suspended for the 'list.' Don't think that you are "safe." Two people in different departments where I work were fired for having "offensive material."
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Personally, stay silent - it's such a taboo subject!I haven't tried anything as yet thou, just watching videos.
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I'd rather still be able to talk to my family... so I stay closeted.
I'd come out to my lover. In fact, I didn't even remember that I hadn't told her until I saw this poll. But telling my family and friends would probably only alienate me from them. Though I am not heavily into this stuff either, I have a wide-spread liking of perversions.
Well as for me my little bro knows well because we are like best friends and he found it on my pc when i was downloading a video. And I will bring it up with my girlfriends only if i have been with them long enough to trust them. This did backfire on me in highschool when i broke up with a girl and then she spread the rumor of me liking it. Luckly enough I was well enough known and people just thought she was being petty and stupid spreading rumors.
I would only tell my lover after I found out what his reaction would be
QUOTE (lips_are_important @ Apr 14 2009, 04:15 PM) I voted to tell your lover. At first I was inclined to say, "well ... it depends" - but honestly, if you're in a relationship where honesty and acceptance of who you are is not paramount, then, is it really worth it to begin with? I suppose it does depend on the nature of the relationship, but I if you're in any kind of committed long term situation, personally, I couldn't be in that relationship it unless I were positive I would be accepted for who I am. That's not to say I discount the incredible fear and stress that keeping this to yourself can create in a person. I told my ex (we split some time later for unrelated reasons) and she accepted it, and was even curious herself. We ended up watching some beastie vids together, and had fun, but that was it. I would like to second this. If you want to be in a good serious relationship, you have to be honest about the person you are. Can't do that with this kind of secret in the closet.
Bump for more opinions. I say tell nobody.
i have came out to alot of friends and some of my exs and came out to one family member. I used to work at a place ans EVERYONE knew lol but it was fun if you have good trust worthy openminded friends i belive your in good hands
QUOTE (Horndawgs110503 @ May 20 2009, 05:33 PM) i have came out to alot of friends and some of my exs and came out to one family member. I used to work at a place ans EVERYONE knew lol but it was fun if you have good trust worthy openminded friends i belive your in good hands I love your courage I could never do it
I'd say to stay hidden, pretty much, but I put "Tell your lover" because if I ever have a lover who'll spend her life with me, I want her to be able to understand. It's a big pill to swallow, though. To be honest, I went back and forth with it in my mind as to whether it's "cheating" or not...or whether it necessitated open relationship, or whatever.I think those are obviously only questions people can answer by talking about it with their human lovers. If there's no discussion on it, then there's that much less honesty and trust involved and there will be problems if it's going to be a long-term or committed relationship.But other than your lovers? It's not really anyone's business, is it? I don't think so. I can tell you right now that 99.9999% of the world thinks it's some kind of horrible abuse or that anyone who engages in this kind of activity is a psychopath. It's best to avoid the subject entirely, because it's not likely to be accepted.
I chose "come out to friends," but it's a very touchy subject. If they're great friends, and maybe not to all of them.It really all depends on how into it you are, too. If it's something you fantasize about sometimes, it's not really needed, and you can keep quiet about it. If you own a dog and intend to be 'in a relationship' with him/her for their whole life, you should probably tell anyone who's going to be around you a lot, because they'll be bound to discover it sooner or later.Something with a high "whoah!" factor found out in secret can stew around in someone's head and spread around in your social circle. If, instead, you bring it up with someone before they find out, they can ask questions and you can dispel any urban legends or horrible media stories. There's a dramatically lower chance of it ruining your life.
I voted stay hidden. I donīt think it would be a good idea to tell. I think itīs a private part of my life that i donīt feel confortable about sharing it to someone else (outside internet), even if their reaction is positive. About my Bf/Gf, if i had one, i donīt think i will break any trust by keeping this a secret. Everybody has a private life and the right to keep it private. The relationship i have with my dog is not the same as i will have with a person (at least this is my case), so i donīt see any reason for him to be jelous, or scared that i might dump him and run away with my dog.
well my mom found out by accident but irregardless, despite of how much she disapproved, of what i chose she loved me
QUOTE (Horndawgs110503 @ May 20 2009, 03:33 AM) i have came out to alot of friends and some of my exs and came out to one family member. I used to work at a place ans EVERYONE knew lol but it was fun if you have good trust worthy openminded friends i belive your in good hands Hrm... Did you just change your avatar or have I just not yet noticed?Also, bravo on the courage you have. I'm with moran; I'd like to do the same but just couldn't. Too much at stake for me.
sharing with your lover adds to the experience !
I voted come out to friends, as I have. Although I've come out to my lover as well, he has no interest in but but hes still totally okay with me being into that
I would love to be able to tell my friends or lover, but the fact is that I'm not willing to risk it. The negatives outnumber the positives so I picked stay hidden.Maybe one day I will
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I've come out to a few friends (the ones I know I can truly trust) and have mentioned it to my mum who I think had a good idea anyway. I would definitely want my lover to know but due to the situation i'm now in I would be scared to get close to someone and then tell them for fear of the problems it may cause me. And would never tell someone I don't know well for the same reasons. And as I wouldn't want a secret this large in a relationship it kind of puts me in an awkward position where unless I have a good idea someone is interested in/ok with animal sex I wouldn't bother with the relationship at all.
Well.. I think my dad and/or my brother found out because they were acting weird around me and I didn't liked it. So.. I couldn't tell anybody, I wouldn't know how.
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Well, I technically didn't come out, but was outed to my now lover. Turns out he's also interested on the subject. Couldn't be happier about it.I'm not saying coming out to your lover is necessarily a good idea, but in my case it was.
I voted tell your lover. I do not think friends or family should be on the need to know list, unless of course you catch them in the act. I did tell my first wife, kind of out of nowhere, and she immediately let the dog lick her. One day I came home and she had been mounted and well tied. Why we ever got divorced, I will never know. My new wife found out about the first wife's activities and was shocked and sickened, so I don't think I will be sharing my desires with her any time soon.It's a shame, but it is what it is.
I have put stay hidden as it is not accepted but, would love to meet someone who is also a zoo, so would rather stay single than be in a relationship etc living a lie.
I will come out to my closest friends. I won't do to my family since I know that they wouldn't accept it.
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