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Every puppy I have fostered has a place in my heart. After fostering a recent puppy and giving her to her new family, I feel as if I have no more room in my heart. On the drive home I cried much harder than I ever have in my life. Now I feel like I can't do this anymore. But if I don't foster them, they get gassed. I know I can't save every dog in the world that's about to be destroyed, but at my expense I give a puppies another chance in this world. I'm real happy when they are around, but when they leave..... I feel so empty. After this last one, I fell into deppression and I didn't sleep much. I'm one of the few in New Jersey that actually does this and it's everyones dream to have a puppy around. I'm pretty sure other foster parents have had some heartbreak, but I have done this nearly 10 times now. I usually never see them again. I get WAY to attached to these pups and I can't help it. I'm pretty sure if this keeps going on this way, I WILL break down. But I feel so guilty knowing that a puppy wouldn't have died if I have stepped in. Should I keep saving the life of dogs if it means it will destroy mine?
Ya know, sometimes taking care of animals, like you do in rescue or veterinary work, can become emotionally overwhelming. In those cases sometimes taking a break from it can help a lot. Its better than becoming totally burned out.
You are giving the pups life and a chance at a good home and a happy life. But if you are having emotional issues over it, you might want to take a little break.The wonderful folks who raise pups for the guide dog schools deal with the same kind of thing although they keep the dogs for a year or so before they go back for training.At least in that situation, they have a chance to follow their dogs' progress. Never seeing them again is very hard but it isn't worth your mental health to keep doing it. As I said above, maybe you should take a break. You can't save them all.LTD
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Yeah, Im gunna start taking it easy. If only more people would volunteer
QUOTE (nellyfolly @ Aug 26 2010, 11:05 PM) Yeah, Im gunna start taking it easy. If only more people would volunteer Yes, definitely, "if only more." Meanwhile, Nellyfolly you have to keep in mind that it's not your responsibility to save the puppies in the shelter, because you're not the one who dumped them there. When you rescue an animal from the shelter you work a miracle, and you deserve all the honor of a miracle-worker. But nobody is OBLIGATED to work miracles!Now everybody else reading this, if your housing situation allows it, GET OUT THERE AND DO IT! Especially in NJ we need someone to pick up the slack for Nellyfolly. I've fostered eight dogs over the years, and I testify that the experience is very rewarding. Get on Petfinder, find your local humane society (this is a club of volunteers, not the local jurisdiction animal shelter, though sometimes the two work hand in hand), and they'll hook you up, including the all-important networking to find a new home for your foster dog.
Yeh, all readers, the pups are real small and if you never had a dog before, having a baby one around for 2 weeks to a month is pretty rewarding. Even if you live in an apartment, they don't leave too much of a mark. (except your heart) Also, if you have children that "think" they can and want to care for a dog, fostering is an excellent way to test their responsibility. Some organizations will hook you up so the foster pup is free to take care of until they find a new home. You have nothing to lose.
I would agree that you might consider a break to reset your clock. No matter if the fosters have two or four feet the good samaritaians can't save them all, there are just too many. Even the care providers and dedicated public servants takr vacations and breaks, sometimes they are even mandatory because the stress is so high. You might also consider some counseling as a professional physicologist will be able to help you decide how you want to proceed as well as being a sounding board to get hour heart out on your sleeve. Quote [Yes, definitely, "if only more." Meanwhile, Nellyfolly you have to keep in mind that it's not your responsibility to save the puppies in the shelter, because you're not the one who dumped them there. When you rescue an animal from the shelter you work a miracle, and you deserve all the honor of a miracle-worker. But nobody is OBLIGATED to work miracles!} Well said ErrWolf
Maybe counseling wouldn't be too much of a good idea for me. I normally NEVER spill my guts to anyone. The only people that I spilled my guts to were very good friends of mine. I trusted them 100 percent as we would have died for each other in a war. I found out that they were killed in a firefight. After their deaths, I kept my mouth shut about my true feelings. Nobody knew anything about me, maybe except my own dog Lily. I have this odd feeling that a physicologist will find some way to make me break down and tell them EVERYTHING. I might end up giving myself away as a zoophile. My family wonders why I get so attached to these dogs. When they find out that I'm sad over dogs, they will phone me and tell me "they are just dogs, get the hell over it", so I have no one in my family to talk about these things with and my best friends were gunned down. All I need now is for more people to get into fostering. I even got a neighbor to do it but it was his first and last time, he didn't like pee in his carpets. If your dog has puppies don't fu$@& put them in a trash bag and try to drown them in a river. Take the time to raise and love them and find every single one a good home. I've once fostered a puppy that was found in a trash bag near a river (whoever did it probably didn't have the heart to drown them and counted on someone to find them). He is healthy and happy and living with a family that are happy with him.
Nelly I wish I could foster animals. But the most I can do is volunteer at the shelter. Because my mom doesn't want anymore animals after the ones we do have passed. I have a class at 3pm today at the shelter that I've been signed up for, for the past 4 months. Apparently all the classes in between were filled. I've been wanting to do this for a long time and I hope that I can make a difference in an animals life the same way you've done.
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Again, there are always those 1/2 week foster programs out there. . I know for a fact that if you bring a small and sick puppy home, no one can say no. Plus, If ya tell em it's only for a week, no one will mind.
Unfortunatly I can not foster as I live in a place with pet limits and as I did take in my late fathers cat I am (secreatly) one pet over limit now. I also travel almost every weekend and work full time. My cat is pretty self sufficient and can go a few days alone and My dog has a place inside for "business" if needed when I am away at work. She travels with me. I and my dogs do, however, work as fundraisers for a breed rescue group so we contribute in a different but important way. When I used to raise dogs I only ever bred a few litters and found nice homes for each dog I could not keep. I also endeavored to keep tabs on them for their lives. The last living dogs are in PA and VA and I am still in touch with the owners.
Ooh my last foster pup went to PA too! She went to a home in Philadelphia
firstly respect to you, you a good person for doing this. in the uk theres a mass of staff puppies atm. we foster on average 2 dogs a month an help them grow. we have all the pups spayed/neutered to help controle the mass repoduction. it sucks wen they have to go but at the end of the day the dog gets love food an walks excatly what they need. we screen the owners on adoption an all they pay for is the chip an vac's which we discount. keep doing it never give up its never easy but u are really making a difference for the dogs without a voice and again DEEP RESPECT!
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