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Hey everyone I know it has been a while since everyone has seen me around. My husband has a computer and is on it ALL the time but i try to pop in every now and then to see how everyone is doing in my little fan club. Glad to see everyone is well. and i hope you can take the time to read this.Well as some of you know I recently got married back in may to my husband who is also zoo with male and female dogs. I'm 22 ( i am a female for those who dont know me) and hes 26 we are both active with male and female dogs we recently bought two new additions to our little family, 2 german shepherds a male and female.So heres the deal. When we met of course in the beggings of a relationship everything is all fun and dandy everyone is ok with one another and learning about eachother. he would come down once a month and well have get togethers with our friends and my male and female dogs and I had no problem with that. In my opinion when it came to finding a zoo partner, I thought it would be more easier to be with someone who was active. Now we may be active with both sexes but of course as a female I'm more to males and hes more to female k9s. Now the problems started when he moved down with me. the moment he moved in with me he went to having sex with my females and i felt disrespect almost as if he moved down here for my dogs. It came to the point where it made me so uncomfortable that I had to rehome my female who I dearly miss. I have always felt a little uneasy to female k9s due to the fact that my husband would rave on about them, how they look and feel. Just the way he made it sound would make me feel that I cant compare to that. I felt my feelings were being over looked and that there was no balance in our life style when it came to our zoosexual sides. I am active with my male but I only am if it involves my husband. so we can be able to enjoy and do something together, take pictures make vids and stuff. or when we would have group get togethers. That was my idea of sharing the zoo side with someone is to be able to do stuff together.Anyway. I want to be able to enjoy this life style with my husband and not be worried that id loose him. he seems to have a higher interest and a higher admiration for dogs and how the look while they are in heat and stuff compared to looking at his own wife. I feel that I dont have his attention and cant think of anthing that might interest him as he told me hes not attracted to human in a sexual matter, yet he married me. I have tried everything that we used to do together in the beggining like have threesomes with the female, giving him pictures and trying to be able to enjoy it with him. Its not working. It still hurts me to hear him tell ppl man I wish I can have your dog, man i want to put my tongue on your dogs pussy and taste its sweet goodness. I love my husband i love that I found someone into the life style with the help of this site. but I never thought of the level a person could be in it. I have tried to explain that it makes me feel uncomfortable, tried to find a half way point. I dont yell at him argue or through crying tantrums, i try to keep a composed conversation, yet he makes me out to be a bitch to his guy zoo friends and mocks how i feel. I will agree that yes it is stupid to feel intimidated by an animal. but it doesnt help when hes out raving about how nice it looks and things he wants to do to them and other stuff. I would like some opinions and input. I know I have some issues and insecurities i need to work out. I just think our marriage should be first because hes already telling me if i cant have fun that i need to leave and that hurts...thank you for taking the time to read.
WOWI can only dream of having a relationship like yours and with a woman like you.I would give you all the attention you wanted.You would be my #1 Bitch (No offence)
move on. get a new man who will take your feelings into account.as you can see, you would be most desirable to a lot of men.
I am sad to say that it looks like there were communications issues from the beginning of your relationship. According to your post, your husband told you he was not sexually attracted to humans before you married. It sounds like you were expecting to magically change that somehow.When that didn't work, you quite naturally felt left out.It seems to me that he was straight-up honest with you and that you both entered the relationship with vastly different expectations.I am truly sorry that things did not work out the way you planned. It might be time to move on before anyone is hurt any more.Of course, you know the situation best but you can't force someone to want you sexually if that person is not wired that way.LTD
Thanks LTD, we hav over tim talked about how he is with K9 females but it wasnt until after we were married and things were getting out of hand that we talkd more in depth about it ans that came out along with him saying he likes them more cuz they are less effort easier access and som other things I cant recall at this time. But aside from that, I see sex as a very personal and intimate thing to share with something or someone thats why when im acttive with my dog I involve my husband. He doesnt understand that its just sex for him. A way to get off. So im trying to view it like he does that its just sex that It shouldnt matter to me, but it does cuz I dont feel like I dont have my husband like other ppl may do. So a question for they guys into zoo and in a relationship, how do you balance it outt or juggle it so to speak... Maybe that can help me find a half way point.
I remember you young lady. I am sorry to learn things are not working out the way you hoped they would. I have to agree with others, it seems he never loved you at all and was only interested in your dogs. Now would be a good time to make the break and move on. I know it is easy for me to say and hard for you to do but if you want to regain your self respect that is the only way. He has thrown away what should have been the perfect relationship. He is very narrow minded to see you as something ( not someone ) and to make fun of you in front of others. Wish I could lure you over here to be my personal bitch ! Don't wait too long to decide. his behaviour will slowly sap your will power. Be yourself, return to innocence and live your life Your way. Good luck.
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It appears like things are not working out in your marriage, maybe you are a little jealous because he has shown you that his preference is for female canines. In my opinion it is time to move on girl.
It sounds like the opposite side of the coin that many of the rest of us face: where a mate isn't into this side of our sexuality AT ALL. Granted, even if you find yourself in a relationship that is zoo-supportive and inclusive, it doesn't mean the relationship can't fall prey to any number of other problems that plague marriages.I've long harbored a thought - one that I am sure won't be popular here - that zoosexuality is a safer, almost simpler sexuality... while your mate certainly can communicate, they simply can't communicate on a level like another human can (for better or for worse). So, they can't belittle you, or be ashamed of you, or deliberately hurt your feelings by being unsympathetic. You can forgive them their baser nature (after all, that IS there nature) where you have might higher expectations of a human companion. Maybe this forms one small basis for zoosexuality - a sexual realtionship where someone isn't necessarily ready to be ... exposed and vulnerable to another human being. As you know, and many will attest to - marriage is tough for any couple (let alone a couple that has such a "special" added dimension to their sexualities). I'm so sorry that you're facing a problem, when it should be the greatest source of pleasure in your life. But you should be first. After all, in a mating pack, the alpha male and female have to come first, before all others. I can't tell you to go or stay - but it does seem like you're being reasonable and mature while your husband cannot (or will not) function on a level of mutual respect and support. Kep your lines of communication open, see if you can explore why he feels uncomfortable or unable to be there for you, first of all. If you work at it (and it sounds like you are), then it's my hope that you both find the reasons that are holding him back - and can address them so that you might find satisfaction together. Marriage should challenge us to be better, and should provide the means and the impetus to improve ourselves - becoming the best person we can be (and sharing that with a partner who is on the same path, with the same level of commitment).I wish you the best, HD, and hope that you AND your husband can find together some greater level of satisfaction in your life than your marriage is currently supporting.
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"the moment he moved in with me he went to having sex with my females and i felt disrespect almost as if he moved down here for my dogs." ←Sounds like that was his reason. "I feel that I dont have his attention and cant think of anthing that might interest him as he told me hes not attracted to human in a sexual matter, yet he married me." ←Thats a problem, no point in marring if hes not interested in you. "I have tried to explain that it makes me feel uncomfortable" ←Find a way to fix your problems or move on and unmarry him."yet he makes me out to be a bitch to his guy zoo friends and mocks how i feel." ←Bad human.•My advice: unmarry him and find some one that likes humans and animals (and not just animals)
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QUOTE (LongThinDane @ Aug 19 2010, 09:43 PM) I am sad to say that it looks like there were communications issues from the beginning of your relationship. According to your post, your husband told you he was not sexually attracted to humans before you married. It sounds like you were expecting to magically change that somehow.When that didn't work, you quite naturally felt left out.It seems to me that he was straight-up honest with you and that you both entered the relationship with vastly different expectations.I am truly sorry that things did not work out the way you planned. It might be time to move on before anyone is hurt any more.Of course, you know the situation best but you can't force someone to want you sexually if that person is not wired that way.LTD Like LTD says in his last line..you can`t force someone to want you sexually if that person is not wired that way... You stated he perfers female k9s over you. Its all up too you....either your no.1 or no.2....all i can tell you as man i like k9s BUT my human mate comes 1st no matter what....I just wish you well in what ever you do..you have friends here some you don`t know some you do....where all here for you!........good luck girl,
I am sorry to hear things are not working out. Sometines the right choices in life are the hardest ones to make. When my ex and I split after 5 years she did not know for certain that I was zoo (she may have suspected) but one night she gave me the untimatum - "her or the dog - I chose the dog and have never regretted that decision. She and I have remained working friends and worked well as seperated spouses to raise our child (of whom I had custody) - and that is rare in this state but we could no longer live in the same house as the trust in our marrage was gone. Give him a sit down, cards on the table choice - your #1 or you are gone - there are lots more fish in the pond, heck some of us are even zoo. Take care love - keep your dog - do not give him up to try and even out the works - you will only live to regret that choice down the road.
Sounds like your husband has not been completely honest with you! You had he need to have a good heart to heart talk!
Apologies to you, Horndawgs. If he did not tell you about his extreme preferences for female dogs before you married, I hold his conduct to be unforgivable in the extreme. I can't imagine someone wanting to hurt a person as nice and caring as I believe you to be based on your posts that I have read in the past..I am not sexually attracted to women either but that is no excuse for being cruel.More than ever, I think you should cut your losses and try to put your life back together.There are people out there who love you and there are men who are not so self-involved that they can't have a zoo side and also show you the love and care you so richly deserve.I am so sorry that you had the terrible luck to meet one of the other kind and I sincerely hope that this tragedy does not sour you on men in general.LTD
I have sat down numberous tim and talkd to him somtimes in to the weee hours of th night. I havee given him the option that we can still liv togther but seperate and find other ppl and he can have his way. But he refuses to leave. I will give him credit, as he has deeleted his picture collection and took down his yahoo account. And has stopped talking about females. I dont want to be looked at as someone who is controlling. I want him to still have the life style and us share it but he just hasnt agreed on a half way point.
I read this for the first time the other day and my heart goes out to you for what is a very difficult situation. My first thoughts were the same as LTD's ....... why on earth did he marry you if he felt this extreme preference for female dogs as opposed to female humans ? Sorry but I think it was very unfair on his part to do so without being more upfront about his feelings for dogs over people. It seems to me you're the one that is bending over backwards here to try and find a workable compromise for a situation you never expected to find yourself in. You're still young ..... do you really want to settle for after only a few months of being married living "together but seperate" ? I think if I may say so he has a bit of a cheek to refuse to leave as it seems he married you under false pretences. I don't see how anyone could call you controlling. It's perfectly natural to want to be on at least the same level in your parter's mind as the dog. The way I always explain it to men is that for me, a dog is not better or worse than a man or more important ...... it's just different and that men for me satisfy other needs a dog cannot. I've always felt it very important to be clear about that and the place each of them holds in my life so the man does not feel he is anyway somehow "less" important to me because I love men too.Your story struck a chord with me because I met someone through BF who I knew had sex with his female dogs. I asked a lot of questions and was a little unsure where I would fit into the scheme of things. To cut a long story short ...... I didn't and he preferred his dogs over me in all ways including sexually. I can't say it didn't hurt because it did and led to a parting of ways and much anger and bitterness on my part.As for you ...... even if he has deleted his yahoo account and his pics so what ? It's not going to change the way he thinks about the dogs or you. Do you really want to live like that still trying to find other people but still as you said letting him have his way? Good God woman you deserve better than that!Get out ........ while you still can, that's no way to live. Heal. As has been said here already there are plenty of men out there that will love you as you deserve and treat you as you should be treated.Good luck ......... I wish you well and the strength to do the right thing for you.
The way your husband disrespects you in the company of his friends is another troubling part of the story. That's a real part of his personality coming out, and his friends reinforce it. Maybe he deleted his Yahoo profile (or just switched to a new one), but he isn't going to get rid of those friends, and their bad influence. Either you work it out, or someone moves out. Cohabitation without love is one thing; college students do it all the time, but they have to respect each other. Cohabitation without respect is not an option.
QUOTE (curious1looking @ Aug 21 2010, 08:38 PM) I read this for the first time the other day and my heart goes out to you for what is a very difficult situation. My first thoughts were the same as LTD's ....... why on earth did he marry you if he felt this extreme preference for female dogs as opposed to female humans ? Sorry but I think it was very unfair on his part to do so without being more upfront about his feelings for dogs over people. It seems to me you're the one that is bending over backwards here to try and find a workable compromise for a situation you never expected to find yourself in. You're still young ..... do you really want to settle for after only a few months of being married living "together but seperate" ? I think if I may say so he has a bit of a cheek to refuse to leave as it seems he married you under false pretences. I don't see how anyone could call you controlling. It's perfectly natural to want to be on at least the same level in your parter's mind as the dog. The way I always explain it to men is that for me, a dog is not better or worse than a man or more important ...... it's just different and that men for me satisfy other needs a dog cannot. I've always felt it very important to be clear about that and the place each of them holds in my life so the man does not feel he is anyway somehow "less" important to me because I love men too.Your story struck a chord with me because I met someone through BF who I knew had sex with his female dogs. I asked a lot of questions and was a little unsure where I would fit into the scheme of things. To cut a long story short ...... I didn't and he preferred his dogs over me in all ways including sexually. I can't say it didn't hurt because it did and led to a parting of ways and much anger and bitterness on my part.As for you ...... even if he has deleted his yahoo account and his pics so what ? It's not going to change the way he thinks about the dogs or you. Do you really want to live like that still trying to find other people but still as you said letting him have his way? Good God woman you deserve better than that!Get out ........ while you still can, that's no way to live. Heal. As has been said here already there are plenty of men out there that will love you as you deserve and treat you as you should be treated.Good luck ......... I wish you well and the strength to do the right thing for you. He knew since w first started talking this was going to be a problem. Just lik you C1L, I asked alot of questions wondring whree I would fit in. The way I think about male dogs and meen is the same way you view it. It may be fun and something different, I dont have sx with my male often out or respect for my relationship, lik you said, cuz I dont want the man to feel any less. Thats all I am asking him to do is respect our relationship. He says he likes varitey, that dogs give him that variety cuz he cant have sex with othr ppl cuz hes taken. He doesnt understand wheen I ask him, why does theree havee to be something else. His excuse is life is to short not to have fun. It probably will come to the point where I just cant handle it and leave. He says he needs me cuz I make him the happiest hes ever been. If I leav, I know not to feel bad, becaus it would be his fualt for not taking care of me and our relationship. If it was for the right person id drop my zoo life because nothing means more to me than someone I love. I wish he flt the same and showd me he can careless about it insted of being an a**hole about it and throw a fit cuz he cant have it. What will he go to if he didnt have the dogs would he cheat on me? He says that female dogs atisfy the carnal side of him that I just cant. I really wish it wasnt this bad, if I knew alot more about I wouldve left and not have to deal with the stress of this...
That's too bad to hear that. Sounds like you gave him too many chances and it also sounds like he likes your dogs more than you. My advice to you is to move on and find someone else who is gonna like you more than your dogs.
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It is really sad and to think i almost lost my dog completey just for him. when he first moved down here it was hard because my dad didnt accept him and said that if he came down here i had to get rid of my dog. i did, and it was the hardest thing to deal with till i fought for him back 4 months later which was when i rehomed my female. its bad when i felt that if i rehomed my female he would leave me so i got rid of my partner instead. and living together and him being all over my female hurt me. so i rehomed my female and got my male back. i do miss my girl as she was a partner with me too. i really wish i didnt rehome her. all i know is that theres going to be a time and most likley soon were this is all going to be too much. my roomates are moving out and im taking the next room. i know it may sound stupid but its so hard to live on your own and i dont want to hear the i told you so's from my family who had an odd thing about our marriage to begin with. the whole "living together but separate" seems like the option at this moment. see in that way we would have our own rooms free to do what ever we want as long as we paid all our bills on time. he said if i wanted to i can date other ppl i offered him the same. though its still not an option he wants. I dont understand why he would want me to suffer just because he doesnt want to be alone. I even said ill be your friend, if thats all he wanted i couldve been just that...i apologize for my ranting but its not like i have a close personal friend to talk to.
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Now is the time to move on. I for one would never say ' I told you so ' ( even though I am not family ) You have given him more chances than he deserves. You have gone out of your way to accommodate his wants and needs and he has thrown it all back in your face. For your own peace of mind and self respect, admit you got it wrong and move on. I just wish there was some way I could offer more help. There are people on here ( myself included ) who will be available if you want to PM and listen to what you want to say. Please do not consider it a rant of feel that you are some sort of burden to us. That is partly what this forum is all about, helping each other through the hard times. good luck for the future. Hugz ... kotc.
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sorry to hear about your troubles.it sounds to me that your husband is a very selfish person, with no consideration for you or your needs, not just sexually and that he intended it to be a sham from the start!you could try asking him if he would consider letting you see other people to fulfil your needs if he has no interest, or maybe you should try and become a little more selfish and star putting yourself first, as it looks like you have been letting him puff up his feathers too much. a relationship is give and take consideration and love of each other, these are the basic fundementals to any relationship be it sexual, friends and even zoo, and he must understand this for your relationship to work!if things continue as they are you may have no option but to "make the choice"but i hope it wont come to tht and you can resolve the situation he has caused.i hope it works out meowth
Wow, just wow... ZZferret put it perfectly, you went out of your way to accommodate him and his wants and needs and that wasn't good enough for him. i know it's hard to say or even think about (and myself i do not like telling it to people) but maybe he isn't the one for you. you are a good person, HD. you have done what you could to make it work between you two, but to me it sounds like it may be time to move on. probably not what anyone wants to hear, but it's what i would do.
First off, it is not stupid to feel intimidated by an animal. How do you think a lot of guys feel about women loving knots?!I agree with the others completely. You should cut your loses and get away from him. Find someone who knows how to treat you properly, as you deserve.
I'm very sorry to hear how things are going. Your hubby might be 26 but he's acting like a far younger boy. I can't believe he's actually throwing away a treasure like you. It's obvious to me that he can't see how INCREDIBLY lucky he is to have you. There are an awful lot of guys out there (probably quite a few in here) who would love to have a woman like you and who would treat you with respect and honor you as a life mate. I truly hope things work out for you still. My advice to him would be to grow up and start acting like a husband....that means YOU come before anyone or anything else.
I'm so sorry to her of this. it hurts me deeply to hear what he is doing to you. While yes i am very exclusive to female dogs, and only feel any type of "attraction" towards female dogs, what he did is just plain wrong, and should never be done. I would never put anyone in the place he put you in, I agree with most everyone, you need to get away from him, and never give up your dobbie boy, he's a cutie and it will only hurt more over time. there's lots of people here that will support you , and you can feel free to talk to me anytime.tundra
I know for a fact you can do a lot better than that. You should feel needed and love to the highest extent, you're married for petes sake. If he didn't have a clear interest in making love to you than he shouldn't have joined that bond with you. Life is too short to settle or be unhappy.
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"...he makes me out to be a bitch to his guy zoo friends and mocks how i feel."?? This is Not respectful or loving behavior on the part of a spouse. I can state this with some authority, as we've just celebrated our 40th anniv and both still in Luv (and still on our first marriage).If there is no mutual respect and friendship, the marriage is a sham! It doesn't matter what the ground rules are as far as sexual behavior, etc. Absent mutual respect and friendship, it's not a marriage. I'd strongly recommend you Both find and utilize a zoo friendly counselor, or it's more than likely all downhill from here. That's just a suggestion, of course.
QUOTE (jaysnknight @ Aug 19 2010, 05:31 PM) WOWI can only dream of having a relationship like yours and with a woman like you.I would give you all the attention you wanted.You would be my #1 Bitch (No offence) HEY I HATE TO SAY IT BUT YOU KNOW Y0U HAVE PROBLEM.IF ITS WENT ON THIS LONG IT WONT GO AWAY.YOU NEED MORE RESPECT.SO DONT RESPECT HIS NEEDS LIKE HE DOES YOURS.MY WIFE AND I NEVER HAD A PROBLEM LIKE THAT AS WE BOTH ENJOYED OUR DOGS TOGATER AS I KNEW HER NEEDS AND SHE KNEW MY NEEDS AS WELL.bUT YET THERE WAS TIMES. I GOT A BIT JELOUS WHEN I WATCHED HER BIG SHEPHERS FUCK HER.AND SEE HIM MAKE HAR CUM SO HARD OVER AND OVER WITCH MOST MEN CAN NOT DO TO HIS MATE.SO YOU HAVE TO TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT HOW YOUR RELATION SHIP IS GOING. and face him with his problem wirh you.Sorry about your relation ship. i wish that i had never lost my wife as she was a great person.and i loved her very much.
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