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Alas, My husband found out my fondness for K-9s, and though i have not had the chance of doing anything more then oral, I was told that if I ever did anything with a dog that he would never ever touch me again..... What is a woman to do?
Get a dog and put the husband on a line in the backyard!
I don't like your husband and I don't have any practical advice other then make friends with other who are into it and have a dog close so you can indulge without hubby being any the wiser... Oh and reject something that he likes just on principal
Next time your husband goes to touch you, pull away and say "I do not believe my k9 lover would approve"
ok first of all he needs to calm down on the ordering around thing.second ,try sitting down and explaining to him your fetesh with dogs, and how it might even bring in a more sexual drive in the bedroom. for him and you.let him know how it makes you feel inside and how you are happy to do things like this , and how many many women wouldnt even try something like this.also tell him its not like your cheating on him with another man.and if all this doesnt workdont give him anything sexual til he gives in. good luck
I think you need to ask yourself a few questions first..do you love your husband? If he were to leave because of your "fondness" would you die a little inside? Do you have children that would suffer cuz of you making a decision like this? If you and your husband love each other and have no issues other then this.. to me it is a given ... stop playing with doggies... If he was doing something you found was "gross" or unappealing wouldnt you give him this same ultimatium?? I am sorry I cannot agree with any of the other posts.. unless there is something more serious going on.... are you willing to break up your home for something as silly as this??? Your husband might feel this as cheating... you are getting sexual satisfaction from someone other than him... so using the excuse.. at least it isnt another man isnt valid... there is also the thought of limits... we all have our limits.. some might sound silly to us.. but who are we to judge what someone find "gross" or unappealing .... and how dare anyone tell me I am wrong for MY limits they are MINE... I think you need to take a step back and review your relationship with your husband and ask yourself if being with a doggie sexually would be worth losing your man for...
You stated it perfectly, Wyldfyre67. I think it would be a great idea to have your comments printed onto cards and hand them out to each and every couple having difficulties, no matter what the cause.
QUOTE (Wombat_intl @ Apr 20 2007, 03:28 PM) You stated it perfectly, Wyldfyre67. I think it would be a great idea to have your comments printed onto cards and hand them out to each and every couple having difficulties, no matter what the cause. thank you hun...
I have to agree with Wyldfyre on this one. She really did state everything with a very cool and clear head. You have to understand when it comes to this way of life, that not everyone is going to agree with you. I've always known that I have to respect each person's right to disagree with my thoughts and opinions on my Zoo life. I think your at the crossroads with your predicament and I wish you all the best with whatever path you decide to take.
I don't like ultimatums. I don't give them and I don't take them well. So, regardless of the subject I would have to take a close look at a man who issued one to me. But, you are in a relationship and you do need to look at what is important to you. Is this an issue you really want to go to the mat over? It's obviously something he feels strongly about and every relationship requires some compromise if it's going to be a happy one. Good luck.
WildPanthGood thoughts both..We have several threds already on marage troubles And we all know this lifestyle comes with a price we must each pay..Living with anywone is a compromise and we all must give and take. Living is not cheep and 2 sharing the house helps..We all know few aprove of this lifestyle, those who have excepting partners are few and blest. I regret your situation but we are talking about an ocasional trist which only you can judge inportant enough to split your family but he considers it that inportant..If you have a dog he is in jepordy and if you make more waves the dog is in worse shape..My guess is he is not an animal person and is jealous. Maby religious.. You have a serious personal issue only you can defuse..I wish you wellRus
I'm in complete agreement with Wyld. Often, we hear about (this is only an example) a husband who really wants his wife to get involved with this, but the idea of it turns her off and she refuses. What do we advise that husband to do? We advise him to respect her feelings on the issue and not to force it. Why would this be any different? If you love your husband, there should be no question about what's the right thing to do. He's been honest about his feelings, and now you need to decide just how important this is to you. You talk about your "fondness" for dogs, and the fact that you've only experimented a little bit. There's no history here of "a way of life" in your case. You aren't giving anything up. If he feels that strongly about it, I'd think very seriously about whether or not it's worth throwing away your marriage. If you decide it's worth losing your husband so you can have a romp with the dog, I'd wonder why the marriage existed in the first place.Ultimatums, like it or not, are a part of life. Some ultimatums are inferred or just general knowledge, or written in some obscure handbook, like if you get caught sleeping at your desk at work, you'll be fired. The only difference here is that he verbalized his feelings. Kudo's to hubby for his honesty, even though it wasn't what you wanted to hear.
First of all let me say that I do not believe everything I read . So assuming your post is true, I would say you have a dilema. If you give in to your husband you will feel first like, what u want or have a desire for, is wrong and feel guiilty. Also you will try to push out thoughts out of your mind of what you did or what you like and you will feel very strained sexually. I also think there is a differance in the flip side,, say if a husband wanted to have his wife do something with a K-9 , heis asking her to do something they she may find unpleasant or a turn-off. Here in this case she is not asking him to "DO" anything rather she is asking him to accept something SHE wants to do as a turn on to HER. So I hope I have confused the issue really I wish the best, but that is the way I see it!
for the record, I was completely joking in my initial reply because I didn't really know what to say...I guess I shouldn't have said anything.I agree very much with Wyld.
One must be carefull who you respond. What is a passing problem for one can be very serious for a nother.Rus
Everyone who spoke with a clearer head than mine is right. I just feel after 16 years of marriage and putting up with my husband doing so many things I didn't like (we won't go into them here ) that as a person I am allowed to make a choice for myself. my husband also disapproves, and we have agreed to disagree. I do what I desire and he pretends not to know. I know this won't work for everyone, and many people wouldn't want it to. I hope you can decide how to handle your situation in a way that works for you, maybe you could compromise and only read stories/watch vids and pretend... maybe if your husband if he won't let you have a dog, you can have a toy shaped like one (zeta anyone?), and i know it isn't the same... but sometimes we have to compromise. If he is completely against even your fantasies, then you have to decide how important it is to you versus how important your marriage is to you. How long have you been married and do you have children, all these things are important in the decision making process... also is beastiality illegal wehre you live and can he use it against you in a custody trial? Not to scare you, but you need to think far more clearly than I am capable of.
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QUOTE (meli @ Apr 20 2007, 11:29 PM) Everyone who spoke with a clearer head than mine is right. I just feel after 16 years of marriage and putting up with my husband doing so many things I didn't like (we won't go into them here ) that as a person I am allowed to make a choice for myself. my husband also disapproves, and we have agreed to disagree. I do what I desire and he pretends not to know. I know this won't work for everyone, and many people wouldn't want it to. I hope you can decide how to handle your situation in a way that works for you, maybe you could compromise and only read stories/watch vids and pretend... maybe if your husband if he won't let you have a dog, you can have a toy shaped like one (zeta anyone?), and i know it isn't the same... but sometimes we have to compromise. If he is completely against even your fantasies, then you have to decide how important it is to you versus how important your marriage is to you. How long have you been married and do you have children, all these things are important in the decision making process... also is beastiality illegal wehre you live and can he use it against you in a custody trial? Not to scare you, but you need to think far more clearly than I am capable of. Meli, your thoughts weren't unclear. You stated exactly how you felt and there isn't anything wrong with that. I can really see where your coming from, after reading about how things have been for you over 16 years. Its hell having to hide our zoo lives and its not an easy choice either way. I like reading the different opinions and point of views from everyone, it makes me look at myself a little more clearly too. I hope you continue stating things, just as you see them.
QUOTE (wyldfyre67 @ Apr 20 2007, 04:50 PM) I think you need to ask yourself a few questions first..do you love your husband? If he were to leave because of your "fondness" would you die a little inside? Do you have children that would suffer cuz of you making a decision like this? If you and your husband love each other and have no issues other then this.. to me it is a given ... stop playing with doggies... If he was doing something you found was "gross" or unappealing wouldnt you give him this same ultimatium?? I am sorry I cannot agree with any of the other posts.. unless there is something more serious going on.... are you willing to break up your home for something as silly as this??? Your husband might feel this as cheating... you are getting sexual satisfaction from someone other than him... so using the excuse.. at least it isnt another man isnt valid... there is also the thought of limits... we all have our limits.. some might sound silly to us.. but who are we to judge what someone find "gross" or unappealing .... and how dare anyone tell me I am wrong for MY limits they are MINE... I think you need to take a step back and review your relationship with your husband and ask yourself if being with a doggie sexually would be worth losing your man for... I agree completely with wyldfyre67! It is a forum of cheating if "he" feels it is, cheating is cheating no matter how you spin it~ You cannot force your views and desires on someone else~ You really need to evaluate your priorities, it's that simple. Although it's not as simple as it's sounds~ Good luck to you~
I think reguardless of what you deciede from the sound advise that you recieved here that you need to avoid the subject from him at all cost - do not rub this in his face wether your staying or going moved to zoo
This is a very delicate issue and one that only you can work through for yourself based on the sound and intelligent advice already given.I cannot add anything helpful to it.I hope I'm not speaking out of turn, but my own gut reaction as a male to your husband's ultimatum are..."Poor bugger! He doesn't know what a woman he's got!"I'd give my eye teeth for a wife who wants to 'love' our dog sexually! I would not only accept it, but would encourage her all I could to explore her personal sexuality in this regard...and be happy to see her happy!She would be to me the ultimate woman and I would love her no less for it!But then...That's just me.I'm so sorry to hear about your dilemna and I hope in time, it all works out for you. fester
QUOTE (fester3156 @ Apr 21 2007, 12:48 PM) I hope I'm not speaking out of turn, but my own gut reaction as a male to your husband's ultimatum are..."Poor bugger! He doesn't know what a woman he's got!" Hear him, hear him!! Ladies like you are as rare as diamonds, but alas, your hubby doesn't seem to realize that...I think a lot of how this proceeds will depend on how he found out and how 'betrayed' he might feel. From what you say, it seems like you did really very little, and you may want to work on that angle - say it's a huge turn on for you, and fascinating, and you wish that you could explore it *as a couple* - make sure you keep him included, and he won't feel left out.Do you think he'd be willing to check out some zoo porn with you? That might help open him up, especially if he finds himself interested in bitches - then you can say fair is fair, I get to experiment with dogs, and you with bitches. Or, just the thought of a woman with a dog might grow on him. Finding out may have been a shock for him, and once he gets over it, he may find the idea more appealing, as long as you present it gently and keep him firmly in the picture.My gf and I split up about a year ago, in part because I wanted to explore my zoo side and though she'd be horrified by that. She was horrified by our relationship troubles, but when the zoo issue came up, she was actually interested herself (though seems to have now changed her mind... ). So who knows, you may be in luck, and this contrariness may just be because he felt 'betrayed' since you did it behind his back.Again, I don't know your hubby or how he reacts, but I think it can't hurt to try this approach: go gently, ask if he's willing to watch some porn with you, make sure he feels included, and see if some interest sparks.Also, much as I hate to sound Machiavellian, if he's done some sexual things *you* don't like, you can bring that up to. Not as overt leverage - you did that, so I get to do this - but more like, you did that and I accepted it, so can you please think about this a bit?Best of luck, and keep us posted!!!
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QUOTE (Joe horney @ Apr 21 2007, 03:29 AM) First of all let me say that I do not believe everything I read . So assuming your post is true,! Why the doubts Joe? Occasionally I see a post which I find suspicious, but this is not one of them. I think you make a very good point in your last paragraph though.Ladywolf, you pose a very difficult question for us. No two relationships are the same, and only you know your true feelings for your husband, and the depth of your desires to experiment with dogs. (So I'm actually saying I'm not going to be of any help!).I would like to comment on something in Wyldfyre's reply though. "Are you willing to break up your home for something as silly as this?" I'm surprised this hasn't provoked howls of indignation! These people must be under your spell Wyld!For most of my life I have thought of my zoo tendencies as something of little importance; some fun and excitement, but not something to take into account when making future plans. Besides, I might have forgotten about it in a few years. Looking back, that was a mistake. It has been an important and enduring part of my life, and I should have taken it more seriously when making decisions. I will in the future.I have no way of knowing how important this is or will be to Ladywolf, but I doubt it will just go away. That's my observation on "something as silly as this".
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I wish to thank everyone for posting here. Alot of diffrent views, and all of them have good ideas, thoughts and opinions. I notice my post has been moved, and I appologize for putting it in the wrong spot. I have tried talking to him, reasoning with him and explaining of how hot it makes me. He thinks that it is wrong no matter how i put it. Although he is religious and all that stuff and I am not, I find that I cannot hold his opinion against him. I mean each to thier own I guess. So I have to ask myself this question. Which is more important, My husband and family. Or the chance of the most satisfying sex i have ever had. In all honesty the answer is clear. My husband. Sex is great, but sex comes and goes. Love like we have is a once in a life time thing. So what if he doesn't like the fact that I am intrested in being mounted. He can't deny me the right to fantasise about it. He doesn't care if i watch the vid's or read the stories. I just cant do the act. Perhaps in time, I can persuade him to my side of things and after the kids move away we can get a dog and experiment. Again I thank all of you Oh yes and Fester Thanks hun. You made me blush It is nice to know that women like me are wanted by men.
Sounds like the best policy, Ladywolf!! At least he doesn't mind you fantasizing and looking at vids, and maybe he'll be ok with a toy too. And probably you will have a chance in the future - if he's still reasonably young (or even if he isn't), he will probably loosen up with time. I'm 31 now, and now I'm quite happy, even eager, to do things I never would have dreamed of doing 10 years ago (like going swinging with my gf). So plant the seeds now, and they may very well bear fruit in the not too distant future. I know it sucks to wait - I've been waiting my whole adult life so far - but it'll come, and when it does, it will be worth the wait, I'm sure!
You didn't say whether or not you are happily married. If you are, then I'd have to agree with others who feel that k9 isn't worth ending a marriage or relationship over. If my hubby had come to me and said he no longer wanted my k9 activities to continue, I'd certainly listen. Hopefully he'd express his heart felt and honest reasons why to me. Even if he just flat out told me he didn't want me doing it any longer. I'd give up my k9 activities without question, and I wouldn't have held it against him either. I don't see anything wrong with a husband objecting to his wife's k9 activities. My husband's approval was always essential to me. You may ask, how could you ever give up k9. Well to be honest, I could very easily live without it. Sure I had countless sexual encounters with two male dogs. Yes I enjoyed it. However I mostly did it for my k9 partners benefit. I loved giving another living being the chance to experience sex. Once I realized how much they clearly enjoyed the experience, I loved letting them have it whenever I could. But for me, all that pales in comparison to my human relationships. I no longer have access to a male dog, so I'm no longer active. Sure I miss it. It was part of my life for the last 15 years. However with kids being older, I won't be active for years to come. Perhaps when the kids are all grown, I'll take it up again.
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QUOTE (Ladywolf2112 @ Apr 21 2007, 10:45 AM) So I have to ask myself this question. Which is more important, My husband and family. Or the chance of the most satisfying sex i have ever had. In all honesty the answer is clear. My husband. Sex is great, but sex comes and goes. Love like we have is a once in a life time thing. Well My dear, it seems as if you know what you have. Make a sound and educated choice that is good for you and yours!Good luck to you~
Very happy to read your reply Ladywolf.The way you describe your relationship here that must be the right decision for you both, and so much better to have your course of action (or non action) clear in your head. Now the decision is made you can move on. You are in good company with so many here in a similar situation.And I endorse what Fester said too!
QUOTE (silkythighs @ Apr 21 2007, 12:49 PM) You didn't say whether or not you are happily married. If you are, then I'd have to agree with others who feel that k9 isn't worth ending a marriage or relationship over. If my hubby had come to me and said he no longer wanted my k9 activities to continue, I'd certainly listen. Hopefully he'd express his heart felt and honest reasons why to me. Even if he just flat out told me he didn't want me doing it any longer. I'd give up my k9 activities without question, and I wouldn't have held it against him either. I don't see anything wrong with a husband objecting to his wife's k9 activities. My husband's approval was always essential to me. You may ask, how could you ever give up k9. Well to be honest, I could very easily live without it. Sure I had countless sexual encounters with two male dogs. Yes I enjoyed it. However I mostly did it for my k9 partners benefit. I loved giving another living being the chance to experience sex. Once I realized how much they clearly enjoyed the experience, I loved letting them have it whenever I could. But for me, all that pales in comparison to my human relationships. I no longer have access to a male dog, so I'm no longer active. Sure I miss it. It was part of my life for the last 15 years. However with kids being older, I won't be active for years to come. Perhaps when the kids are all grown, I'll take it up again. Very well said Silky~
I agree with most here. A marriage is a partnership. If he really can't handle it then you can't force the issue.
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My point of view on this subject is slightly different than those listed here. Personally I feel that a husband/wife who is unwilling to accept who you are, and demands that you conform to their wishes is someone you should not be with. I can see both side of this however.He's the kind of person who seems set in his ways. While he lets you view your fetishes now, will he in the future? I do not know if you have any children, but the fact he knows you are into Zoo may give him the ammo he needs for any future arguments and issues.A true long lasting relationship requires trust, love, and understanding. Without those, you become trapped in a relationship that centers around unhappiness.My advice to you is- Take a good hard look at your relationship. Are you happy? Do you have children, and if so, are they happy? Are there things that you dislike your husband doing, but allow him to do so anyway?Really, the core of this is not about being a Zoo. It's about your relationship. While he may take offense to your Zoo-nature, that doesn't give him the right to treat you like a child and just forbid you from doing what you want. To me that says he does not trust you and he feels insecure."This is who I am. I have feelings and desires that you do not approve of, but I am still the same person you fell in love with. I respect your beliefs, even if I do not share them, and I ask for the same respect in turn."Have you told him that you need an extra "oomph" in your sex life? If not, you should. Sex is really a bonding thing. Without a satisfying sex life, partners end up becoming distant from one another. Love fades and is replaced with "Best Friend" like feelings. I know this first hand, unfortunately. If you are seeking ways to satisfy yourself sexually, and are adamant about staying with your husband, I can only suggest that you two work on your sex life. Try roleplaying, role-reversal (err... don't know if he'd go for that being religious and all...), toys, etc. Keep it fresh. The thrill of trying new things may rekindle what you feel is missing.Good luck and I hope I didn't ramble on too much!
QUOTE (HeartsofPaws @ Jun 7 2007, 07:58 PM)My point of view on this subject is slightly different than those listed here. Personally I feel that a husband/wife who is unwilling to accept who you are, and demands that you conform to their wishes is someone you should not be with. I can see both side of this however.He's the kind of person who seems set in his ways. While he lets you view your fetishes now, will he in the future? I do not know if you have any children, but the fact he knows you are into Zoo may give him the ammo he needs for any future arguments and issues.A true long lasting relationship requires trust, love, and understanding. Without those, you become trapped in a relationship that centers around unhappiness.My advice to you is- Take a good hard look at your relationship. Are you happy? Do you have children, and if so, are they happy? Are there things that you dislike your husband doing, but allow him to do so anyway?Really, the core of this is not about being a Zoo. It's about your relationship. While he may take offense to your Zoo-nature, that doesn't give him the right to treat you like a child and just forbid you from doing what you want. To me that says he does not trust you and he feels insecure."This is who I am. I have feelings and desires that you do not approve of, but I am still the same person you fell in love with. I respect your beliefs, even if I do not share them, and I ask for the same respect in turn."Have you told him that you need an extra "oomph" in your sex life? If not, you should. Sex is really a bonding thing. Without a satisfying sex life, partners end up becoming distant from one another. Love fades and is replaced with "Best Friend" like feelings. I know this first hand, unfortunately. If you are seeking ways to satisfy yourself sexually, and are adamant about staying with your husband, I can only suggest that you two work on your sex life. Try roleplaying, role-reversal (err... don't know if he'd go for that being religious and all...), toys, etc. Keep it fresh. The thrill of trying new things may rekindle what you feel is missing.Good luck and I hope I didn't ramble on too much!Everything Hearts said I have to agree with. Honestly your husband should be willing to accept any fetish you have, as long as it is not hurting someone else. There are some limits. ~.^There are three stages of love. The Lustful and bountiful Love when you first met. Then the Power Struggle everyone goes through. Then Total Acceptance. That is when you know the love you have shall last a life time. Look at your relationship and your life together. Look at if there has been anything you have denied him? Sit him down and place everything onto the table. Flat out saying, "Look you know the fetish I have. Here is everything else I love and enjoy sexually. Now I want you, no matter how dark it is, tell me what turns you on. What is within your fantasy and deepest sexual wishes. Lets work things out together, as lovers."If that does not work, then you know the truth of the matter. You know his feelings and what he wants. Honestly any true man that loves his wife is more than willing to give them something they love sexual as long as they get something as well. Heck some, that is all they want because they know you would be willing for their pleasure as well.Sex is a very bonding thing between lovers and very important. It is not just physical, it is also emotional and spiritual when you make love with someone you care deeply and passionately for.I wish you luck and best wishes.
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